My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
