It's just like the Real World with babies
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's rum buckets o'clock
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
