let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
