New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
