Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
