Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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