She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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