Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
