Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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