my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
