we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
