the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
