So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
