all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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