i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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