well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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