Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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