It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
