So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
