I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
