Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
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I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.