Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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