You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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