So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
