He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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