Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
