So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
