Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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