her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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