i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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