you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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