I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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