That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize