wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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