So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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