Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
