dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
