You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
