tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
