I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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