we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
