Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

(1-416): View more from Ontario

u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

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(678): View more from Georgia

he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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(630): View more from Illinois

its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it

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(530): View more from California

What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM

(617): View more from Massachusetts

cool u want pads or tampons

(781): View more from Massachusetts

tampons please

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