My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
