We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
