Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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