i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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