Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
sarcasm needs its own font
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
