I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
