I just made out with a guy for $7.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
