I wanna passion pit in your ass
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
