is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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