Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
