I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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