he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
