Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm

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(318): View more from Louisiana

That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch

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(858): View more from California

I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(513): View more from Ohio

he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours

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(785): View more from Kansas

Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry

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(334): View more from Alabama

I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits

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