Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
