I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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