we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
