Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
