I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
