Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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