another moral hangover. fuck.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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